I am returning from vacation this week after a week of (hopefully) ignoring the timelines and schedules coming up. If I know me, I have taken a number of notes on my phone when my mind won’t shut up until I do, but hopefully most of my brain is being used to enjoy friends and theme parks. This was my pre-trip ruminations at McDonald’s over scrambled eggs and a latte.

I used to be a big fan of The Simpsons (and it isn’t like I hate them now, I just missed a bunch and I am a a completist and can’t watch a show without watching them all.. and I am probably 150 episodes behind at this point. Hey, something to do when I retire along with the original and modern Dr Who.)

On The Simpsons, there is an episode entitled Trash of the Titans where Homer becomes the town trash collector, and madness ensues. The point I am arriving to is that I feel like Homer in this exchange:

Lisa:
Wow, Dad, you’re really working hard.
Homer:
Yes, I gotta work hard, honey. Daddy made a lot of crazy promises.
Lisa:
I’m really proud of you, Homie, but can the garbage man really do all the things you said?
Homer:
Oh, the garbage man can, Marge. The garbage man can.

And yeah, he breaks into song and sings “The Garbage Man Can”. I haven’t perfected the “SQL Man Can” yet.

Mind you , most of the time I am more successful than Homer (other than the song, my songs never flow that freely), but the point is there, writing a new session is terrifying. And right now I have one I have to finish for December for Nashville, and another in March for FABCON & SQLCON.

December’s isn’t too terrifying, I am talking about concurrency and I have most of that done from a previous iteration on the subject and I am adding some new stuff in 2025 and dropping in-memory type of blocking.

FABCON is a pre-con on data-driven transformations. That one sort of reminds me of another comic idea:

That “I never expected to be chosen, now what?” Feeling

I have watched a lot of dogs over the years chasing cars, and you know they would never know what to do if they caught it. Every time I submit a session that is new, I feel the same in the weeks after I get selected/volunteer to speak. I have presented plenty of times, but every presentation starts out the same. “What have I done!?!” And then moves towards something presentable.

I have my primary topic I like to speak about: database design, and I have done many versions of the same “design is important” session in how, why, when forms, and even a few times as a pre-con. When Jason and I decided to submit, that experience reminded me of three things.

1. Doing a precon is an amazing experience where you really get to take a subject you know really well and learn it way beyond what you expected.
2. Dong a lab/experience based session is very unpredictable (especially in a web-based scenario!
3. Time is an inexhaustible supply until you have a deadline.
4. There is no number four, as required by the previous paragraph.

Weirdly, number 3 is the worst thing to remember. No matter how many times you think, I should get to work, time says (and it isn’t exactly lying) “c’mon, you still have time”, even the day of your session who hasn’t heard a voice saying, “no worries, you still have an hour”… It just keeps on giving.

For now, I will listen to that voice and chill

We all know time lies, though for some reason as a deadline approaches, we all work harder because it becomes more clear that you have finite time to get done and ready.

So when this is posted, I will be ready to slap time in the face and get writing, coding, and preparing all through the upcoming holiday season. Yeah, no who is lying?

Until then.

But for now, I am chilling out with this my view for a bit over one more day/.